An Overview of Codependence
“Somewhere along the line, we learned to doubt our perception, discount our feelings, and overlook our needs. We looked to others to tell us what to think, feel, and behave. Other people supplied us with information about who we were and should be. It became more important to be compliant or avoidant rather than to be authentic, and we adopted rigid beliefs about what “should be.” We believed that if we could just “get it right,” things would be okay. When we “got it wrong,” our sense of security and self-worth evaporated.”
— from CoDA.org home page.
“Codependence is a disease that deteriorates the souls. It affects our personal lives; our families, children, friends, and relatives; our businesses and careers; our health; and our spiritual growth…. Many of us come to a point when we must look beyond ourselves for help…. Each of us arrives here from different directions. Some of us are urged by family members or friends. Some of us come to CoDA when our physicians, psychiatrists, or therapists see the need. Many of us reach CoDA’s doorstep after treatment for codependence or other addictions.”
— from CoDA.org webpage What is Codependence?
“Whether it’s crisis or curiosity that brings us to CoDA, many of us learn about the characteristics of codependence at our first meeting. These characteristics help us determine what unhealthy patterns weave in and out of our lives. Do we live in extremes instead of balance? …. Do our codependent behaviors cause our relationships to stagnate, deteriorate or destruct? If the answers to these soul-searching questions cause us to admit, “I am codependent and I need help.’ then we’re beginning to locate recovery’s path.”
— from CoDA.org webpage What is Codependence?
“It all begins with an honest look at ourselves.”
“Many of us struggle with the questions: What is codependence? Am I codependent? We want precise definitions and diagnostic criteria before we will decide. As stated in the Eighth Traditions, Co-Dependents Anonymous is a non-professional fellowship. We offer no definition or diagnostic criteria for codependence. What we do offer from our experience are characteristic attitudes and behaviors that describe what our codependent histories have been like. We believe that recovery begins with an honest self-diagnosis…. We begin to recognize that the cause lies in longstanding destructive patterns of living.”
— from CoDA.org webpage What is Codependence?