What to Expect at a CoDA Meeting
“There is only one requirement to join; a desire for healthy and loving relationships. Your first meeting will introduce you to The Twelve Steps, The Twelve Traditions, The Promises and more. These are the foundation of our program, and you will come to find great comfort in them, one day at a time as you walk the path of recovery from codependence.”
— from CoDA.org home page.
All CoDA Meetings Follow a Basic Framework
Most meetings have between five and twenty-five people, and last one hour or one-and-a-half hours. The meeting is about people sharing their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Introductions. At the beginning of a meeting, there are introductions and readings. During the introductions, some will say “Hi, my name is Sally”. Others may add “… and I am codependent” or “… and I am a gratefully recovering codependent”. You are not required to speak at all – it is your choice.
Readings. Required readings at all CoDA meetings include the Preamble, which tells a bit about the organization, the Welcome, which tells about codependency, the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions.
Sharing. In CoDA meetings, we keep the focus on ourselves. We share about our feelings, our thoughts, and our needs and wants. We use “I” statements to help us express our feelings honestly, directly, and simply. Some meetings go around the room where people share in turn. Others are free form, where people share as they are moved to. People generally share about their current issues in life. You may share yours or not. We limit our sharing to 3-5 minutes. This time boundary allows for everyone who wishes to share.
Crosstalk. Meetings have a structure and ground rules. Everyone is silent when one is sharing. This is despite the fact that participants, including yourself, may have questions or suggestions for the person sharing. That rule is called “no cross talk”. Included in this is the rule to not refer to another person or their sharing when your time comes to share. We speak about our own experience; no one else’s. There is great value in these rules, because they allow the truth to come through our sharing. If you are unsure about what “no cross talk” means, please ask someone after the meeting.
Seventh Tradition and Announcements. Meetings ask for optional donations. 7th Tradition funds are used to pay for room rentals, literature purchases, printing and other expenses.
Closing. At the end of the meeting, the group typically rises to say a prayer, holding hands. It is frequently The Serenity Prayer, which is well known in all 12 step programs. No participant is required to recite any prayer they find objectionable.
— The information on this page is based on excerpts from the CoDA.org webpage: Your First Meeting and the CoDA pamphlet: Attending Meetings.