Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.| Denial Patterns: |
|
| • | I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling. |
| • | I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel. |
| • | I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others. |
Compliance Patterns: |
|
| • | I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger. |
| • | I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same. |
| • | I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long. |
| • | I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own. |
| • | I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want. |
| • | I accept sex when I want love. |
Low Self Esteem Patterns: |
|
| • | I have difficulty making decisions. |
| • | I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough." |
| • | I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts. |
| • | I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires. |
| • | I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own. |
| • | I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person. |
Control Patterns: |
|
| • | I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves. |
| • | I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel. |
| • | I become resentful when others will not let me help them. |
| • | I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked. |
| • | I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about. |
| • | I use sex to gain approval and acceptance. |
| • | I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others. |